ROSEMARY BEACH — Third-world thugs, autocrats, theocrats, bureaucrats and -crats of all kinds gather this week in New York City for the start of the United Nation’s General Assembly. I think it is called the “General” Assembly because it does nothing specific.
Our hookers have been busy, with the back-to-back RNC in Tampa and the DNC in Charlotte and only one travel day between the two. Like New York Yankee pitchers, it is best not to work these women on just two day’s rest.
The U.N. provides an opportunity for the sleaziest political representatives of corrupt, third-world countries to run amok in our country under protection of diplomatic immunity. Even though they have kickback-based economies, little indoor plumbing and currencies based on goats and oldest daughters, these "leaders" criticize the U.S.
In perfect symmetry, the General Assembly meets on the one-year anniversary of the Occupy Wall Street movement, which put an end to greed and corruption just by camping out and making a mess in New York parks.
Iranian leader, Holocaust denier, Members Only jacket-wearing spokes-midget Mahmoud Ahmadinejad rolled back into town. For a man who hates Jews and gays, he seems to like New York City a lot. Perhaps he shops, since there is not a Gap for Kids in Iran.
Tweaking the nose of Israel, Ahmadinejad was allowed to speak on Yom Kippur. That is like letting Paris Hilton talk on Labor Day.
Ahmadinejad was also given the honor by the U.N. of throwing out the ceremonial first Nazi reference at the gathering.
Tensions mount. On the U.N. soapbox, Ahmadinejad wags his finger at the U.S. and Israel. And Obama tries to avoid any more Middle Eastern problems before the election. He has already created a bad economy and increased government dependency. If American hostages are taken, it would round out the Jimmy Carter comparison trifecta.
It amazes me that all these Muslim countries, which hate us so much, which don’t have running water or basic cable T.V., always have American flags ready to burn whenever CNN cameras are around. If I got mad at Libya or Yemen, I can't imagine even being able to get my hands on one of their flags to burn — and we have a Walmart at every freeway exit in America.
As an aside to global warming alarmism and as a means to get guilty Americans to send them money, the members of the United Nations have proclaimed that there are now 7.2 billion people on earth. They have apparently appointed themselves the world's census takers. If the United Nations had a better way of keeping up with the Kardashians, America might care.
Maybe the U.N. is right; maybe there are too many people. Back in 2001 when there were just 6 billion people in the world, I enjoyed the Earth better. It seemed much more neighborly. Folks from other countries would send casseroles to your house and airplanes into your office buildings. It was a simpler time.
Proving that she is a political hack, uninformed, or naïve, U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice continued to advance the White House narrative that the attacks on our embassies and the murder of Ambassador Chris Stevens were caused by a YouTube video. Contrary to any measure of common sense, she insisted that simultaneous, coordinated events in different countries on 9/11 in which our embassies were attacked were just local protests sparked by a third-rate video.
Apparently she believed the Libyan crowd of several hundred "concerned citizens" milling around the U.S. Consulate on 9/11 were incited by coincidence on “Bring your Rocket Propelled Grenade Launcher to Work" Day.
Maybe we can harness the considerable intellect of Hollywood, the humility of Obama, and the diplomacy of the Church of Scientology to work things out with Iran. Scientology elders are screening gorgeous Iranian actress Nazanin Bodiadi for the role of Tom Cruise’s next wife. Cruise and the Scientologists are so enamored with her that they have asked Israel to bomb around her.
It is optimistic to hope that all of the countries of the world meeting in New York would solve problems. Instead, it is a sideshow of epic proportion, replete with reductive reiterations of their view of world problems, always concluding that we need to send them more money — and calling us the "Great Satan" for doing so.
A syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator, you can reach him at Ron@RonaldHart.com, Twitter @RonaldHart or at visit RonaldHart.com.