OPINION: Water Wars: Don’t mess with Tennessee

Published: Thursday, April 18, 2013 at 02:56 PM.

I suggest Tennessee file a countersuit and charge Georgia with Grand Theft Irony.

Just like I meant to buy Google stock at $5 per share but did not, neither of us has a right to go back and recreate something we did not get right the first time. Maybe Georgia can use Apple Maps to help; it's good at helping users discover new places where things aren’t.

Georgia barking these threats at Tennessee is like a poodle locked in a cage yapping at you as you walk by. You pay it a little attention because you think it is cute.

I have lived in both states; Tennessee is simply better run than Georgia. Tennessee is called the Volunteer State because it can’t make people live there. Politicians know that, so they make the state desirable. Tennessee has zero income tax and is run with relative efficiency. Its citizens have a rugged independence that is appealing. Politicians once tried to institute a state income tax and angry mobs descended on the capital.

Just the right amount of fear keeps elected officials at bay.

One Tennessee town knowingly elected a dead man as mayor. The people sent a message: They wanted an elected official who would not steal from them or cheat on his spouse. They also wisely put the UT dental school in Memphis rather than with the undergraduate college in Knoxville. They knew there were not enough teeth in Knoxville to support a dental school.

Northerners are attracted to the South in general and to Tennessee in particular. Some Northern retirees move to Florida, find it to be like New York with 100 degree temperatures, and relocate to Tennessee. They are called “half backers” since they have moved halfway back North. They love Tennessee's climate, people, low taxes and the possibility of secession.

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