RON HART: New York: The City That Never Sleeps — with its spouse

Published: Thursday, July 18, 2013 at 05:16 PM.

NEW YORK CITY — Sometimes political events make op-ed satire so easy.

Former attorney general, New York governor and hooker enthusiast Eliot Spitzer said he will run for comptroller. Spitzer is a man who cannot comptrol himself but, like fellow New York Democrat and mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, he can troll the Internet.

As we have come to know, continuing sex scandals are imperatives of a mature democratic society. Spitzer is a real troll who had to pay for sex; the whole idea of power usually means you should not have to.

What makes the Spitzer race interesting is that he will be opposed by his ex-madam, Kristen Davis, who pimped his expensive call girls to him. She will run as a libertarian, so she has my vote. "But," you ask, "how can you vote for a professional prostitute who is active in the most degrading profession on earth?" And I would say, "No, you misunderstand. I am not voting for Eliot Spitzer, I’m voting for Kristen Davis."

Ms. Davis, who has not seen Spitzer since she went to prison while he avoided prosecution for prostitution and maybe money laundering and went scot free, says she ended up broke. Spitzer was rewarded with his own show on CNN (a liberal award much like an Oscar, Grammy or Nobel Prize). It will be fun to watch the debate between madam and Client No. 9, Eliot Spitzer. The last time they debated it was over price.

So we have the heartwarming, classic American story of boy meets madam, madam supplies boy with expensive hooker, boy secretly pays for kinky sex, boy leaves office in disgrace, and boy is relegated to run a redemption race against the madam. It feels like a Norman Rockwell painting.

If you pitched this to Hollywood as a movie script, they would say it is too silly to believe.

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