RON HART: Tax collectors: Thar’s gold in that thar' stripper glitter

Published: Sunday, November 18, 2012 at 08:07 AM.

I would have loved sitting in the courtroom gallery and hearing the oral arguments, but there was a two-drink minimum.

Reportedly, no judge was late to work that week. 

The New York Supreme Court heard arguments from Assistant Solicitor General Robert Goldfarb, who argued the intricacies of lap dances before Justices Feinman, Kaplan, Silver and Schoenfeld. It probably sounded more like negotiations on J-Date than Supreme Court deliberations on a matter of import.

Appearing before the court was an older sex worker. Having grown very comfortable around old men in robes, she wasn't the least bit nervous. The 76 year old was brought in as an industry "expert witness" to testify to the artistic value of the lap dance, and then she performed one. Prudish judges who voted against the strip club's case will pay a price; just living with the vivid memory of that demonstration should be punishment enough.

In a 5 to 4 decision, the court decided that club owner Dick had to pay back sales taxes on all the lap dances his girls did. I hope he shows up in court and dumps the $400,000 he owes at the judges' feet — in crumpled one dollar bills.

I suspect now we will see the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts franchised as a tax shelter to strip club owners throughout greater New York area.

A syndicated op-ed humorist, award winning author and TV/radio commentator, you can reach him at, Twitter @RonaldHart or visit

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