RON HART: Un-Done: Lil' Kim — like father, like son

Published: Sunday, April 14, 2013 at 09:02 AM.

ROSEMARY BEACH — Evil dictator-in-training Kim Jong-un was running a little short of cash and attention last week, so he announced plans to nuke the United States. The 30-year-old Lil' Kim inherited his evil dictating business from his dad, Kim Jong-il, who got it from his dad, Kim Il-Sung, who acquired North Korea in a hostile takeover in 1948.

Kim Il-Sung was People's Republic Magazine's “sexiest man alive” from 1948 until his death in 1994. I think Tom Selleck won the title in 1995 until Kim Jong-il solidified his power the next year. Two years ago Kim Jong-il picked his third son, Kim Jong-un, to run the evil empire upon his death, bypassing older brothers Kim Jong-Tito and Kim Jong-Jermaine.

Kim Jong-un, who cuts his own hair due to his renowned fear of barbers, is much like his father; he likes the cognac and the ladies. Un did take a bride last year (probably literally). She is a pretty lady; I think her name is Kim Kardashi-Un.

There is confusion regarding the spelling of the dear leader’s name. Apparently it was originally spelled Kim Jun-woon. Perhaps he is from the Woon Tang clan. We have the same issue with Osama bin Laden’s name, often spelled "Usama." Then the name of another dearly departed leader, Gaddafi, is often spelled "Kaddafi" or "Qaddafi." And Saddam Hussein's name was often spelled "Sad dam," "Sadam" or "Sodom." 

I propose that we at least know how to spell the name of a man whose country we intend to invade or whom we plan to kill. A little homework might save us a lot of money.

Like that of many despots, the young Un’s bombastic bravado could lead us to war. I fear that someone will miscalculate crazy, like the presumptions about Saddam Hussein that triggered an unnecessary war of occupation.  We will end up having to take a Labor Day weekend to light up North Korea like my Uncle Mac at a family reunion.

We have deployed guided the missile destroyer USS John McCain to Korea. The ship took a while to get there because of numerous restroom stops en route, but it is there now.

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