RON HART: Yoga: don’t just do something — sit there

Published: Sunday, January 6, 2013 at 05:24 PM.

ROSEMARY BEACH — It is that time of year again. After eating and drinking too much over the holidays, Americans will do what they have to do to make it right: set their scales back 15 pounds. It certainly beats exercising and eating right.

Ever since the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock in their attempt to escape European tyranny (but mostly soccer), we have sought to adopt foreign “activities” for our own. Such is the case with yoga, which has swept the affluent areas of this country like European socialism itself.

Yoga involves investing lots of time and money and buying designer clothing, things aging baby boomers like a lot.

Yoga places have about 20 different accessories in their studios, like ropes, rubber tubes, and blocks right out of “Fifty Shades of Grey” that in total cost about $20. These help distract the patrons from the fact that they just paid $40 for supervised stretching.

Short of adopting a kid from a third-world country, yoga gives guilt-ridden white Americans a sense of "oneness with the world" while wearing expensive tights sewn by an 11 year old in a sweatshop in Sri Lanka.

Yoga is pretty much just stretching with a tutor and is whiter than a Tea Party gathering. Madison Avenue, emboldened that the spreading popularity of inner-city basketball allows it to sell $275 sneakers to kids who cannot afford them, sees limitless possibilities in duping even more gullible suburbanites who actually have money into buying $150 workout T-shirts.

I do not like working out. And there is really no need for it these days when there are so many channels on basic cable devoted to exercise that you can just sit on your couch and watch. My idea of a weekend marathon is back-to-back-to-back episodes of "Seinfeld" on TBS.

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