Hillary's sniper story draws enemy fire

In the heat of the current Democratic nomination fight, Hillary Clinton tried to brandish her tough woman world leader cred when her "misremembrance" became the topic of the week. For those who do not have a Ph.D. in political science, a "misremembrance" is a technical campaign term which means a lie.
In short, she outright lied about being under sniper fire on a 1996 goodwill/USO visit to Bosnia after that war ended. And that, my friends, is why I love writing humor about politics. Who would have thought Hillary would have told more scary personal war stories than John McCain?
When caught lying, she blamed it on lack of sleep. You'd think that if she learned anything from Bill Clinton it would be how to make up a plausible story after a late night. Next she will say she has lived the struggle of African-Americans in the 1930s. Turns out she just saw "The Color Purple."
Apparently, Hillary is not polling well with young Democrats. Ungrateful college-aged liberals do not get back at their parents enough by saying they are going to vote for a white woman. But a black male really sends dads over the edge.
Trying to remedy the fact that Hillary only polls well with Democratic women over 60 with three or more ceramic cats, her staff members du jour thought they could answer Barack Obama's urban hip appeal by telling a story about her surviving gunfire. So all of a sudden they attempt to make her out to be gangsta rapper Tupac Shakur. I suggest that the new Hip Hop Hillary rap name be: Phant Suit H-R-C Gunshot.
Hillary starts telling this stump story and, like all politicians, she is of course the hero. She tells crowds that she withstood enemy sniper fire to assure our troops that they could see the second-rate comic stylings of Sinbad. Usually, our troops get to see Pamela Anderson and Jerry Seinfeld. Imagine how bad a war that must have been, and the disappointment in those soldiers' eyes, when they looked up and saw Hillary and Sinbad. I really think we owe our troops better.
Amazingly, holding the Democrats accountable for the truth in lieu of the media with their Democratic pompoms on was comic Sinbad, who kept pointing out that the story she had been telling people for three months was a crock. So to sum it up, Sinbad is now doing the media's job when it comes to scrutinizing the truth of Democratic candidates.
Outed by intrepid and embedded journalist Sinbad, the major media outlets found clear film footage of Hillary, peacefully shaking hands in the receiving line with Bosnian dignitaries. Alas, no gunplay. So to summarize, Bill does not remember sex in the Oval Office and Hillary does not remember being shot at by snipers.
Granted, I do not know the challenges of accessorizing a bulletproof pantsuit under enemy fire, but I just flew to Los Angeles and also could have been shot at around LAX. In fact, it was probably more likely to have happened in L.A. with all the shootings there. Bumper stickers in L.A. say "Cover me, I am changing lanes."
So it turns out that her tough experience cred never really happened. And as we all know, the only one seeing any real action when Hillary travels is Bill.
But in all fairness, Barack is no Rambo either. Democrats usually define their tough military folks as the ones who write the sternest warning letter to countries building nuclear bombs. In Hillary and Barack's pillow fight to see just who the baddest ambassador on the cul de sac is, she might actually win. After all, Hillary is the only candidate who has firmly stood up to a world leader. Remember when she allegedly hurled a lamp at Bill in the 1990s?

 The writer is a Southern libertarian who writes a weekly column about politics and life. His e-mail is RevRon10@aol.com.