RON HART: So much to be grateful for

Published: Thursday, November 28, 2013 at 03:00 PM.

CHATTANOOGA , TENN. — AAA predicts that 43 million Americans will take to the roads with their families to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. It also predicts that upwards of eight million of them will still be talking to each other by the time they reach their aunt’s house.

It is the time of year when 80-year-old Wal-Mart greeters are trampled when the doors open for Black Friday. These greeters are members of our “Greatest Generation.” They stopped Hitler’s Nazi army, took Iwo Jima, and stopped North Korea ’s advance, but annually they get completely overrun by hefty, middle-aged women looking to buy a waffle iron for $12.99.

It has been an epic year for us op-ed humor writers. At this point in the year, I give thanks for those buffoons, reprobates, scalawags and scoundrels who made my job easier in 2013.

Special thanks to Anthony Weiner, Eliot Spitzer, Mayor Filner of San Diego and, of course, the gift that keeps on giving: the Honorable Mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford — the most embarrassing Ford since the Edsel.

We should also be thankful for America 's human drone, John Kerry, who circled the globe in pursuit of peace. Hearing John Kerry talk makes waterboarding feel like a gentle neck massage. After listening to him for a while, Iran would have signed anything.

Secretary of State Kerry should be commended for his disarmament deal. If diplomacy goes well, it's likely that he will have George Zimmerman disarmed by Christmas.

I am thankful that the Washington , D.C. , “PC Police” have applied pressure to change the name of their NFL team from the Washington Redskins to something more menacing, like the “Regulating Bureaucrats.” I hope the Redskins’ owners will react to this pressure by changing the team's name — to the Virginia Redskins.

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