This is one Super Bowl when Tom Brady and Bill Belichick won't be having a ball.

I predict that one of two teams will win the Super Bowl this year.

Super Bowl watchers on TV sure focus on the snack-coverage.

Both centers in this big game make snap decisions.

The sweetest smelling football player on the field is the right guard.

The player who plays while under the influence is the "tight" end.

A father brought his young daughter to the big game and she noticed that six bald men were sitting in front of them and asked her dad why. He replied, "They must have bought their tickets from scalpers."

Kansas City Chief's favorite hymn is "Bringin' in the Chiefs, Bringin' in the Chiefs."

Before last year’s Super Bowl, Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat had Cheaties for breakfast.

Maxine — "My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself."

One of the losing fans noticed a cellphone on the sidelines and took it over to the head referee and told him that it must be his because it says, "You have missed 10 calls."

Football referees would not be accepted by government officials because they are "whistle blowers."

Was about to tell you another football joke, but it had an offensive line.

Because of the economical problems today the referees are not going to perform the regular coin toss.

This Super Bowl, the refs are going to determine who goes first by playing rock, paper or scissors.

Two cities that recently legalized marijuana will combine for the Super Bowl celebration and have a real super bowl.

Super Bowl Sunday always steals a pizza my heart.

What do you call 53 millionaires sitting down watching this years' Super Bowl on TV? The New England Patriots.

One of the referees had trouble in last year’s game. He had trouble measuring first downs because someone was always yanking his chain.

"Super Bowl Sunday is the only day of the year that a man watches TV for three hours without touching the remote."

One of the football coaches' dogs ran onto the field and his team got called for an ineligible retriever down field.

At last years' game there was an empty seat next to me. Nobody showed up and it remained empty. I asked the fellow beside me why the empty seat. This was his wife's seat but she couldn't come. "Well, couldn't you get some other member of the family to take her place?" "No," he replied, "they were all at her funeral."

So many bowls this year. Will they eventually have a toilet bowl?

On fourth down the punter got the ball away just in the kick of time.

If you chose quarterback Andrew to be in the big game, you're out of Luck.

They say that women will never play football because they wouldn't be able to get 11 women wearing the same outfits.

Remember the talented Baltimore Colts quarterback Johnnie Unitas? He opened a line of steak houses throughout the country. They are called Unitas Steaks of America.

Patrick McAlpine is a self-described "edutainer" and a Canadian Snowbird from Kanata, Ontario, Canada. Submit your jokes or smiles to