RON HART: Megxit: It Sussex being a spare heir
My Royals watching has been limited to the Kansas City baseball team. But with the extensive four minutes of research that I like to put into a column for you, I’ve concluded that I do not blame Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, for leaving their “jobs” and moving to North America — just two more jobs created by Trump’s economy that got government workers off the taxpayer payroll.
You will remember basic cable actress Meghan Markle. She left for Jolly Old England two years ago, and remains the only actor who actually made good on a promise to leave the United States after Trump was elected. She’s the new Yoko Ono of England.
Now her husband, Prince Harry, will leave his $3 million a year gubmint job and find work overseas. Perhaps with his military experience he could be a mall cop. I suggest that he look into some of that sweet Ukrainian gas company money given away to politicians’ kids. Taking his security detail with him up to Liverpool to shake hands with the third-grade spelling bee champ, and then to Cheshire to award a tea drinking ribbon at a retirement home, has to get old.
But I totally respect the couple’s desire for independence from England. It’s what America was founded upon. We get that. Harry and Meghan can make $3 million just shaking down Disney or Netflix for a gig. The Obamas got $100 million from Netflix, and I haven’t yet seen anything they’ve “produced.” They got a $60-million-plus book deal, and the Clintons got $30 million. It has to be troubling to them; even they are doing better under Trump. The key with the left: You can get rich, you just have to act like you are ashamed of it.
I didn’t even know Meghan Markle was black until she played the race card. I just thought anyone would look black standing next to the translucent Price Harry. But that has become her cover for the evenhandedly brutal British press. As Obama perfected, call any criticism “racist” and it ends.
I totally get that it has to be odd growing up like Harry. When he married Meghan, it had to be troubling for his mates to take him to a strip club in London for his bachelor party and he had to stuff British pounds with his grandmother’s picture on them in the garter belts of strippers.
You’d think I’d care more about Megxit. We Harts trace our lineage back to Englishman John Hart, who came to America and was one of the Signers of the Declaration of Independence. He thought it was a petition to open more bars in his Puritan neighborhood, but that’s beside the point.
Queen Elizabeth endowed Prince Harry with the title of Duke of Sussex and Meghan the Duchess of Sussex. In high school, I was the Douche of NoSex, so I get it. But part of the reason they are leaving is that Harry is sixth in line to be King. Queen Elizabeth is 94, drives herself, drinks six cocktails a night, and is a bad ass. She’s still a boss. I’d like to hang with her; Prince Charles — not so much.
The Queen is gangster. She did not like this Megxit. If I were Meghan, I’d be a bit worried. The Queen could summon James Bond, Christopher Steele and Hillary Clinton to the castle and tell them to “make it look like an accident.”
When they come to the Americas, Harry and Meghan will still be royalty. But even in show business, they will be quite a ways from being King and Queen. Here he will be fourth in the line of succession behind Sir Mix-A-Lot, and she seventh in line behind Queen Latifa.
When they move here their child, Archie (whom I am sure was not named after Archie Manning or Bunker), will get a lot of media attention. This will anger Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff. They do not like any other big crybabies getting more press attention than they do.
I predict the couple will end up in Hollywood. Canada is an intermediate, royal subject stop for them to please the Queen. Hollywood is very much like Canada, just with more snowflakes.
I feel for the Queen. All this drama comes on the heels of Prince Andrew getting in trouble cavorting with pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Andrew was demoted and the Queen canceled his 60th birthday celebration. But to be fair, it was scheduled at Gymboree, with dinner to follow at Chuck E. Cheese.
A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron’s a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.